Fate or Fool?

LAst thrusday i tought i had lost everything.i start a new me on friday and i found another way to survive bt myself but everything seems being a lie until sunday..after starwalk i get to know my handphone was saved my cmun popo..i pray hard that my handphone not spoilt..but until yesterday.i hope my handphone was never been found..yesterday i saw him unexpectedly in mcd.i dont hope he gonna see me in such condition at that time..argh..we even sit opposite each other but yet did not chat at all..not even a hi came out from his mouth..such a disappointment..
today..23/6/09..was the anniversary..i hope he did remember the memories we had before~EVENTHOUGH he need me no more this moment..today i saw him again in chatter..God..why You keep on fooling me like that?i'm totally tired..everytime i tought i had overcome him..i meet him back..again..not even a hi came up..
after having my lunch..i walk to mcd for tuition..when i reach mcd..i meet him again..face to face..he drive his motorbike..when i saw him..i walked quickly eventhough the pain of my leg was bad..but no matter how..the pain in the heart is always the greatest..am i fated to never let him go from my life or izit just a little fool i made to lie myself ??
i learned to pray to God for the first time..everyone around me seems having bad times..i hope they will be strong and be with me all the times..
sometimes when we wanna to protect someone too much..we will ended up hurting them the most~

dear..you have been left me for a month..really a month..time passed too fast..i cant even accept it..yesterday i finally know the REASON you need me no more..
kinda hurt and speechless..i sooo damn hope by that time..i dont even know the reason..i'm disappointed..seriously..i wanna gave up..hope u rmb today's date..24/6/09.the day after a month you need me no more..

conclusion of being childish~

Yesterday was starwalk..i ended up twisted my own leg for being running with a small kid..haix..fall on the main road and infront of ex's were completely a shame..right now my left leg was bandaged while my right leg was bruishes on the knee..damn pain i tell you guys~T.T i would like to thanks christopher and pui yieu for accompany me to finish the race~poor chris have to carry me when i cant afford to walk anymore..hahaxx..i know i'm heavy dude..i'm gonna do sumthing about it ge la..haaaaa....yam gong..but i'm sure ur faithfullness will be repay by my long lasting friendship geh~^^ i felt disappointed.i'm not as tough as you guys think of..was a sentence of *are you ok?* hard to say out?why cant you just take a look at me or neither a glance when you passed by?the greatest shame i got wasnt falling on the road..it was failed to do every single things which linked to you..i followed your back for 6 km..while i fall down during the 7th km..why am i such a failure?i thought i manage to finish it together..i always tought it~

hmmm....I dont know why..i always expecting much from other people..or maybe i did think too much..are you just friendly or do you feel the same as i felt? why izit i faced the same problem when the same situation happen to me huh...tired being frustrated by my own imagination~God help me lea~

sweet memories~

yesterday 19/6 was the prom night..i was kinda worried how i look..well everything ended up kinda okay..i curled my hair~thanks rebecca jie jie..^^
well..many things happen to my ji mui yesterday..haix..pity her..
while i was kinda lucky get accompanied by a funny guy..andrew..his shoe spoil during the dinner..poor guy..we ended up singing *Fall For You* when deva's band start to bring the atmosphere up..we enjoy the night by music and dance..
talk about dance..this is the 1st time i dance with a guy..hahaxx..so damn funny..i was wondering..was he dancing or jogging??haha..honestly..i must really thanks him for not leaving me alone that night..well..it was such a regret for not taking pic with him..arghh~sob...T.T

well..talk about today..i went out with him and my friend's bro..we hang out in jj then ended up having our lunch in pizza hut..is kinda fun when someone accidently hit ur ice cream by pizza hut menu..hahaxx..i cant forget that~i just burst into laughter when i start to recall it..hahaxx..
2molo starwalk lu..hope i safety and soundly reach hum..hahaxx...
i must gambateh le eventhough *da bitch is gonna ruin my mood..haix..why lea..she going?bringing up so many trouble and mess..

useless and hopeless

Today i LOST everything..I dropped my phone in toiletbowl how useless and i..All my hopes and MEMORIES just fade away from me..I created my memories and yet..i ruin it all by myself..The very first things i tought off when i realised i dropped my phone..I started to think..if *he suddenly text me..and i didnt reply..IF IS ALWAYS THE BEST STUFF I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW..

I dont know why am i keep on lying myself and be such a childish thinking..LOST IS LOST..nothing gonna be the same anymore..but all i can do was just protecting my memories and sweet time in my life..BUT..today i finally destroy everything by myself..was it FAITH or COINCIDENCE?i dont know and i dont wish to know it..
knowing nothing is always better than knowing everything..

k800..can be a cheap and useless phone to some rich people..but for me..it was my treasure..i saved my money and babysit my niece to get the amount of money to get this phone..i bought it last December from my best friend..i only manage to get a second hand k800 cause there's no more new stock of it..
This phone had accompanied me during my sweetest time i ever had and the bitterest moment i passed through..I know i cant have this phone anymore..but..please give me miracle that i manage to save my memory card..
there were really really important pictures in my life time..i dont wanna lose it..

-i've failed to keep someone but please dont confisticate my love and memories-

i'm sorry..i dont want this happen again...

i really silly right?i cant bear to lose everything AGAIN..is too hard for me to take all this right now..all in my mind now was just the saved messages and pictures..
I had been memorised all my saved messages..but i still want it there for me when i needed it the most..arghh..why am i so careless??even my mum said the same thing to me..i felt USELESS..for not able to protect my stuff and myself.

tomorrow is gonna be the prom night..i had been waiting this night to come..but now..i dont really have the mood to decide what to wear..i dont want to be weirdo at that night..Last two days,one of my friend invited me to his table..but today..i get to know that i was situated in a table with someone i hate and frustrated the most..haix..everything seems not at my side..i wonder..tomorrow night..will it be the worst night i ever had?well..only God knew it..i just dont want my 1st prom night being a disaster to me..T.T

disappointed~

Today..after school,i receive one of my friend's message..my friend ask me to pass *his starwalk cupon to him cause we gonna collect our cloths tomorrow.
I was deeply hurt and start wonder..why cant he just text me and ask for it?why must *he do that?maybe i'm too sensitive about *him..but who cares??
Life have up and downs..i believe..today i'm hurted by him..and someday..he will get hurted by another girl that he LOVE..

well..thanks irene for lending me your hand to create this blog..
and this is my 1st post~ ^^
sorry yar see mun..i dont really in mood to think about sunday today..haix...
love yar lots~