Tired~

so long didnt update my blog..days had been passed away without YOU mandee..happy bufday yar..hope u enjoyed this year bday by our surprise party..well..i'm sorry for not being tough enuff that nite..24/8.to admit anot.i did cried.i dont know why..i had became a sober and sensitive nowadays..i couldnt control my tears rolled down to my cheeks..i missed the ways ur smile that belongs to me.but i missed mine more now..i'm tired fighting all these while by myself while i get to know HER had entered ur life..i found out myself and i keep on lying myself..but i get to know that..i am the last one to realise things had been changing..funny rite?i always saw you..but i can felt there's a wall last time..and yet..now was like a building between us..a building that cant be broken down..i wondered..when will the building dissappear..i really missed the way we chat..as a frens..by this time..i'm still waiting u to say hi to me..seriously..just a hi..nothing much..

HIS bday is coming soon..should i make him a present?i'm making it half way now..should i pass it to him?or i just wish him happy bday?or just ignore and pretend forget it?i dont want to do decisions that hurts my own feelings..

trial is coming soon..i couldnt pay attention in class..and i dont have the mood to work for my exams..i'm just a living corps..feeling useless and helpless..SHE seems like doesnt need me anymore..SHE having and spending her times with her loved one..i does not meant that i'm jealous or what..SHE just seems enjoyed her life without me..i seriously felt left out..i missed the time when we both single and laughed and shared eveything.i meant EVERYTHING..i know i sound selfish..ryte?no matter what i just wanna her be happy with her life..since i cant do anything to her..no more...cause having HIM had made her perfect..my last wish to do something great with her was..

*make the best bday present for her and celebrate the day with her..knowing her is the blessing of God..i do take this friend as my life accompany..arigato..to bring up my life and be there when i needed someone the most..you smiled when i was silly..you sad when i was hurt..you hugged me when i'm afraid..u tackled me when i was angry...*

-you always what to do whenever i changed my mood..but..i felt left out nowadays..
i dont know whether am i the same when i with him..i guess i am..i'm sorry..i knew how it feels and it seriusly pain to take..-